Wisdom Breathes Life into Her Children

Wisdom Breathes Life into Her Children.

I KNOW I am a Catholic

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Hello. I try to read and study the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Although I may be a bit slow in understanding some of the complicated articles because: (i) English is not my first language, (ii) I did not finish college, and (iii) although a Catholic – I am not as knowledgable about our religion as I’d like to be because I didn’t have any formal teaching and my parents were nominal Catholics.

But I hope that you guys won’t mind if I took the time to put in my 2 cents (did I use that idiom correctly? :p)

When I was a teenager I took interest in Jehovah’s Witness teachings. I was excited for a while. But eventually was disheartened and embraced Catholicism once again. I even became a junior legionary with the Legion of Mary for a while. Several years ago, through self-study – I took interest in the teachings and beliefs of the Seventh-Day Adventists. I was eager to learn and was starting to believe their teachings. After some time of self-studying, reasearching, and praying – I was once again pulled back to my Catholic faith.

Two year ago, I started having Mormon missionaries come to ur home for Bible Study – which turned out to be not merely Bible study (as they claimed) but a crash course into their religion as well. I was very taken in. After a few visits with them, I started attending their Sunday meetings. I even took my children along. My husband was out of town for nearly 3 months that time so he couldn’t openly object. He didn’t object because he thought it was just a silly phase, that I was just ‘bored’. But he nearly became mistaken. A week after he finally came home – I was scheduled for my BAPTISM! For three days we were discussing, arguing, and debating. I finally gave in. I prayed and prayed for him to take interest in our Catholic faith. To take interest in attending Mass. And finally it was happening… after years of praying. My prayers were answered. So I came back ‘home’ to our Catholic faith.

Forgive me for babbling on. I just wanted to share the trials of my faith. The ups and downs. I still have A LOT to learn. But I am not giving up.. I am not even tiring out. I am eager and excited to learn.

I believe that the Bible is the word of God. Written by men inspired by God. Guided by the Holy Spirit. I am not saying that the Catholic faith is perfect and spotless. I think that once you over-analyse, study and scrutinize every detail – faults will be found – in every religion, in in every faith. That’s what happened to me. I was so obsessed with finding the perfect one, the one with no errors, with no shortcomings, the one I could say was all-perfect. And I couldn’t find it.

What I’ve learned is that the Catholic faith is heavenly inspired. But we are all humans. As humans – we are all imperfect. Only God is perfect. So we can’t expect any religion to be perfect. Because every religion here on Earth is made up of imperfect humans.

What I know is that my faith is strong. Whenever I had nightmares when I was a conflicted teen where I had no dream but it seemed my mind was awake but I could not move. I opened my mouth to scream – but there was no sound. Sometimes I even felt like my bed was spinning quickly. I’d calm myself down and start praying Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory be. Then it would stop and I’d be completely awake and in control of my body. I know that whenever I am upset, hurting, or in despair – I just pray and meditate on the presence and love of Jesus – then all the hurt, anger, and despair disappears. Just like that.

This is what I know.

Loss of a close friend

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Being a member of the Catholic lay organization Couples for Christ (CFC) was going wonderfully. Our very tight household group of four couples has made it much more special, happier, and more inspiring. We have become such close friends that we all have considered our household as our second family.

I cannot recall for sure the exact dates but on or around September 1 – we found out that Bro. Rey (Bamba), one of our household members, had tested positive for liver cancer. We were all shocked and saddened by the news. He had recently tested positive for Hepatitis B – and that was already a shock to us – liver cancer was like a tidal wave of shock to us.

We were the ones who broke the news to him. We dropped by their parish priest, Father Larry, to ask his counsel and to ask for his blessing. I felt so heavy-leaden that evening, all of us did. I couldn’t fathom how it could have had happened to him. Bro. Rey was a great friend to everyone, an awesome guy, a truly wonderful husband, and an honest, faithful servant of God. But cancer doesn’t choose any specific kind of person. Cancer can happen to anyone. We found out the hard way.

Br. Rey (R.I.P.) with our princess, Tia.

Bro. Rey accepted the news as gentlemanly, as humbly, and as courageously as he could – I applaud him for that. Maybe deep inside he was beset with mixed emotions, maybe he was scared – who knows. But he lived his last weeks as gracefully as he accepted the news that evening. His wife, dear Sis. Suzzette, needed our help and our love the following days and weeks. I admired and will always remember her strength and tenacity during those days. At times, it seemed that her insanity hung by a thread – but it never broke. Her faith was strong enough to sustain her till the end… until now.

 

We discovered Bro. Rey’s cancer around the time that our household’s friendship and bond had really started to grow deeper than most of the other households we see and encounter. Our closeness – God’s plan and purpose for it – had been made clearer to me that time.

Sis. Elai had a simple dinner celebration for her birthday on September 28. Of course, Sis. Suzzette and Bro. Rey couldn’t make it. The next day, I too had a simple birthday celebration in our place. They couldn’t come as well. The next morning I received a frantic call from Sis. Suzzette – Bro. Rey was on-and-off disoriented and had thrown up bloody fluid. We needed to rush him to the hospital. Alvin and I got out of bed, changed our clothes, brushed our teeth, and was in our SUV in a matter of a few minutes.

I won’t go into details on what occurred in their place, although it is still just as clear as if it happened yesterday. We rushed Bro. Rey to the hospital. We were in emergency mode, Alvin was driving as fast as he could and was continuously honking. It was such a scary, adrenaline-pumping ride. No details on the condition of Bro. Rey because it still hurts to remember.

We were with them in the hospital for the rest of the day. Sis. Suzzette sometimes seemed like she was on the brink of a breakdown but she held her ground. I am proud of her. There was a heart-dropping moment when Bro. Rey flat-lined and Alvin had to do a few seconds of CPR before the nurses brought in the emergency cart. Sis. Elai, another of our household member, being an internist, was his attending physician, and was the one who intubated him. I can only imagine how difficult it was for Sis. Elai to have been the doctor of Bro. Rey. Anyway, Bro. Rey was given a second life. A very special gift. Unlike in many similar cases, Bro. Rey was still mentally aware of us and his surroundings. Although he was already very weak unable to speak – he could understand what was being said to him.

We went home late that night (September 30). Around past 3am, I received a call from Sis. Elai, a nurse from the hospital called her up and informed her that Bro. Rey’s vitals weren’t looking good and we knew what it meant. She lived near the hospital and was preparing to leave. The news truly saddened Alvin and me. We were hoping. After around 15-20 minutes, we were already in the car and had just left the house, I received another call from Sis. Elai, Bro. Rey had passed on.

I won’t go into much of what followed, or the funeral and the burial. Although I have finally accepted his death, it still pinches my heart and deeply saddens me. I miss him so much. Out of all of us in our little group, Bro. Rey and I were the noisiest ones. It felt like we were kindred souls sometimes. I still reminisce of the good times, the laughter – there were lots of those.

Bro. Rey, I know you are in a peaceful, happy, and beautiful place now. No more pain or sickness in your body. I know that God has claimed you back because he wanted to stop your suffering and I believe he has a new mission or assignment for you now – a more important one. I know that (if it truly is possible) that you are keeping watch over us all – especially Sis. Suzzette. I have accepted your passing on, Bro. Rey. It still saddens me of course. I will always miss you. But I know that if I live in a way that I end up in heaven . . . then we will meet again someday.

When I’m Gone

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I’m only 31 I know. I’m not a negative person where I think that I’m going to die soon. I just came across these very nice death peoms which really touched me. I believe this would relay what I’d love to be able to say to my loved ones when the time comes that I pass away and leave them behind. So touching.

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there… I do not sleep. I am the thousand winds that blow… I am the diamond glints on snow… I am the sunlight on ripened grain… I am the gentle autumn rain. When you waken in the morning’s hush, I am the swift uplifting rush Of gentle birds in circling flight… I am the soft star that shines at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry— I am not there… I did not die…

Remembered Joy Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free! I follow the plan God laid for me. I saw His face, I heard His call, I took His hand and left it all… I could not stay another day, To love, to laugh, to work or play; Tasks left undone must stay that way. And if my parting has left a void, Then fill it with remembered joy. A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss… Ah yes, these things I, too, shall miss. My life’s been full, I’ve savoured much: Good times, good friends, a loved-one’s touch. Perhaps my time seemed all too brief— Don’t shorten yours with undue grief. Be not burdened with tears of sorrow, Enjoy the sunshine of the morrow.

I Wanted To Be…

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There are several things I wanted to become when I grew up. Now, I am 31 years old, although none of these ‘ambitions’ came into being – I am very content with what I have and become. There were instances in the past when I had feelings of what ifs and if onlys … but as the years went by I’ve learned and grown to realize that God had BETTER plans for me. That my life, as it turned out, is just as much as fulfilling as any successful career – often I believe even more so.

I wanted to be a nun when I was a little girl – around 5 or 6. But when I found out i couldn’t have a family. I changed my mind.

I wanted to be a journalist. More specifically – a travel journalist. I also liked the idea of being a tv reporter who’d be sent to locations all around the globe.

I wanted to be a dancer. However much I loved dancing – I thought of it only as a second career or a “sideline” job. I wanted to learn jazz ballet more so than others.

I wanted to be a lawyer – specializing either in criminal law or civil law. I also thought it would be great to be a lawyer and work for the UN. Yes – my dreams were specific. I wanted to protect and defend human rights.

There was a time that I studied the basics of Cultural Anthropology and I was so hooked. Of course it added to my list of “ambitions”. I wanted to be an anthropologist and go around the world studying and immersing myself in different cultures. Yes – that would have been amazing.

And now I here I am at 31. A mother of four children. Eldest is 11 years old. Youngest is nearly 5. No career. No job. And may I add – never had a real job at all.

Pathetic? To some, maybe. But to me – this has been and IS such a great blessing. To have been able to be with my kids everyday of their lives. To have been and still be able to see and experience with them the daily things that they do. Yes – I regret the few instances in the past when I felt bad for not having a career.

The day will come when I will HAVE to work. That I would NEED to get a job. But for now, at this moment – let me lie in contentment.

Choices

Everybody has a choice….

To focus on the problem or to focus on a solution…

To blame someone or move on….

To follow the trend wether you like it or not OR to follow your own instincts…

To hurt that person or not to….

To be optimistic and be happy or to be pessimistic and miserable….

To share your blessings or keep it all to yourself – even ones you don’t really need….

To lighten someone elses load or pretend you don’t notice….

To protect someone being used or pushed around OR do nothing and mind your own business….

To forgive and feel better or hold on to the pain and resentment eating you up inside…..

To do something wrong because nobody will know or to listen to your conscience and control yourself….

To be happy or to be sad…

To be considerate or to be thoughtless…

To be humble and serve others or to love pride and refuse to serve…

There are countless more I can add to these. If you have any suggestions – please send them to me.

The world would be a much more better place to live in if more people would make the right choices.

Signing off,
‘Cesca

Pursue the Virtue of Contentment

PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ THIS SHORT ARTICLE. VERY NICE.

Love,
‘Cesca

Pursue the Virtue of Contentment
by Max Lucado

A businessman bought popcorn from an old street vendor each day after lunch. He once arrived to find the peddler closing up his stand at noon. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

A smile wrinkled the seller’s leathery face. “By no means. All is well.”

“Then why are you closing your popcorn stand?”

“So I can go to my house, sit on my porch, and sip tea with my wife.”

The man of commerce objected. “But the day is still young. You can still sell.”

“No need to,” the stand owner replied. “I’ve made enough money for today.”

“Enough? Absurd. You should keep working.”

The spry old man stopped and stared at his well-dressed visitor. “And why should I keep working?”

“To sell more popcorn.”

“And why sell more popcorn?”

“Because the more popcorn you sell, the more money you make. The more money you make, the richer you are. The richer you are, the more popcorn stands you can buy. The more popcorn stands you buy, the more peddlers sell your product, and the richer you become. And when you have enough, you can stop working, sell your popcorn stands, stay home, and sit on the porch with your wife and drink tea.”

The popcorn man smiled. “I can do that today. I guess I have enough.”

Wise was the one who wrote, “Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income” (Eccles. 5:10 NIV).

Don’t heed greed.

Greed makes a poor job counselor.

Greed has a growling stomach. Feed it, and you risk more than budget-busting debt. You risk losing purpose. Greed can seduce you out of your sweet spot.

Before you change your job title, examine your perspective toward life. Success is not defined by position or pay scale but by this: doing the most what you do the best.

Parents, give that counsel to your kids. Tell them to do what they love to do so well that someone pays them to do it.

Spouses, urge your mate to choose satisfaction over salary. Better to be married to a happy person who has a thin wallet than a miserable person with a thick one. Besides, “a pretentious, showy life is an empty life; a plain and simple life is a full life” (Prov. 13:7 MSG).

Pursue the virtue of contentment. “Godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Tim. 6:6 NIV). When choosing or changing jobs, be careful. Consult your design. Consult your Designer. But never consult your greed.

From Cure for the Common Life
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2006) Max Lucado

-<–@ Sent from my iPhone

Love Thy Neighbor…. or not :o(

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Nobody should live for their own sake. We all have a degree of responsibility towards each other. At least we SHOULD feel that way… we must live that way.

Some people are just selfish. Maybe they were born that way or maybe it was their upbringing. Whatever the reasons – some are simply selfish. As long as their own needs are met, as long as they’re comfortable – they don’t seem to care if the people around them are fine or not.  It’s sad. I just cannot comprehend how people can act utterly oblivious or unaffected by other people’s sufferings and hardships.

I’ve noticed that some people are choosy with the people they help or with the people they show kindness and generosity to. Some feel most concerned with people of the same ‘level’ or ‘status’ as them. Or maybe people within a group they belong to. Or maybe of some other specific criteria.

I cannot understand how people can be unconcerned and seem unfazed at all by the hardship of someone knowing they have the capability and resources to help or lighten the load. It is especially harder for me to accept how they can ignore these if they can plainly see or even around the people suffering.

I don’t claim to be perfect in a way that I am unconditionally kind and giving all of the time. I try my best to be. I know unconditional kindness and total helpfulness does take a lot of time and effort. But it doesn’t take superhuman powers.

Should I feel sorry for wanting to help people whenever I can? Should I be reprimanded for wanting to lighten the load of someone? Am I wrong for having this tightening in my chest when I see someone suffering and want to share the blessings that overflow in my life? Is it reason enough to mock or persecute me for being unselfish???

Just as we were…

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One quote says that “old friends are like old (worn-out) shoes, they’re the most comfortable” – whoever said that was really smart… and probably had at least one very good and very close old friend. A friendship that has weathered a lot does form a strong bond that’s truly special.

I am very happy and proud to say that I’ve got a few friends – very old friends – who I’ve thankfully remained close to all these years. There are gaps of little communication but we had never been bothered by it. By the time we get together again or when we do pick up our communication once again. It’s like we were never gone from that stage of our lives we had become very close friends and were together often.

We sort of pick up from where we left off….whether we hadn’t seen each other in years or hadn’t even communicated with one another for ages. It really doesn’t matter. Time and distance hadn’t and will not affect our friendships. Or maybe it does affect us… sometimes it actually brings us closer. Or strengthens our bonds more.

I’m not very good with words. I’m not an eloquent speaker and writer. My vocabulary is not that wide. But I hope to get my message across loud and clear. These friends I speak of are family to me. Maybe something totally different from ‘family’ because with family – you have no choice – but with friends – you actually get to pick them. With these friends I am never pretentious and most of my inhibitions are gone or forgotten. I care for them deeply. I miss them everyday that we’re apart and I wish/hope nothing but good things for them. I show or tell them when they do or say something that upset me but I forget about it right away. I always give them my honest-to-goodness opinion when they ask for it – and sometimes, even when they don’t. I trust them and am trustworthy towards them as well.

Anyway, I know that many people have that kind of friend. One who’s for keeps. One who you know will offer a shoulder to lean on or cry on when you need it. One who you can pick up where you left off even if you haven’t seen or talked to each other in years. One who’ll tell you their opinions honestly even if it doesn’t agree with yours. One who knows your faults but likes you anyway.

Thank you to my dearest and closest friends.

Zwani

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