Loss of a close friend

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Being a member of the Catholic lay organization Couples for Christ (CFC) was going wonderfully. Our very tight household group of four couples has made it much more special, happier, and more inspiring. We have become such close friends that we all have considered our household as our second family.

I cannot recall for sure the exact dates but on or around September 1 – we found out that Bro. Rey (Bamba), one of our household members, had tested positive for liver cancer. We were all shocked and saddened by the news. He had recently tested positive for Hepatitis B – and that was already a shock to us – liver cancer was like a tidal wave of shock to us.

We were the ones who broke the news to him. We dropped by their parish priest, Father Larry, to ask his counsel and to ask for his blessing. I felt so heavy-leaden that evening, all of us did. I couldn’t fathom how it could have had happened to him. Bro. Rey was a great friend to everyone, an awesome guy, a truly wonderful husband, and an honest, faithful servant of God. But cancer doesn’t choose any specific kind of person. Cancer can happen to anyone. We found out the hard way.

Br. Rey (R.I.P.) with our princess, Tia.

Bro. Rey accepted the news as gentlemanly, as humbly, and as courageously as he could – I applaud him for that. Maybe deep inside he was beset with mixed emotions, maybe he was scared – who knows. But he lived his last weeks as gracefully as he accepted the news that evening. His wife, dear Sis. Suzzette, needed our help and our love the following days and weeks. I admired and will always remember her strength and tenacity during those days. At times, it seemed that her insanity hung by a thread – but it never broke. Her faith was strong enough to sustain her till the end… until now.

 

We discovered Bro. Rey’s cancer around the time that our household’s friendship and bond had really started to grow deeper than most of the other households we see and encounter. Our closeness – God’s plan and purpose for it – had been made clearer to me that time.

Sis. Elai had a simple dinner celebration for her birthday on September 28. Of course, Sis. Suzzette and Bro. Rey couldn’t make it. The next day, I too had a simple birthday celebration in our place. They couldn’t come as well. The next morning I received a frantic call from Sis. Suzzette – Bro. Rey was on-and-off disoriented and had thrown up bloody fluid. We needed to rush him to the hospital. Alvin and I got out of bed, changed our clothes, brushed our teeth, and was in our SUV in a matter of a few minutes.

I won’t go into details on what occurred in their place, although it is still just as clear as if it happened yesterday. We rushed Bro. Rey to the hospital. We were in emergency mode, Alvin was driving as fast as he could and was continuously honking. It was such a scary, adrenaline-pumping ride. No details on the condition of Bro. Rey because it still hurts to remember.

We were with them in the hospital for the rest of the day. Sis. Suzzette sometimes seemed like she was on the brink of a breakdown but she held her ground. I am proud of her. There was a heart-dropping moment when Bro. Rey flat-lined and Alvin had to do a few seconds of CPR before the nurses brought in the emergency cart. Sis. Elai, another of our household member, being an internist, was his attending physician, and was the one who intubated him. I can only imagine how difficult it was for Sis. Elai to have been the doctor of Bro. Rey. Anyway, Bro. Rey was given a second life. A very special gift. Unlike in many similar cases, Bro. Rey was still mentally aware of us and his surroundings. Although he was already very weak unable to speak – he could understand what was being said to him.

We went home late that night (September 30). Around past 3am, I received a call from Sis. Elai, a nurse from the hospital called her up and informed her that Bro. Rey’s vitals weren’t looking good and we knew what it meant. She lived near the hospital and was preparing to leave. The news truly saddened Alvin and me. We were hoping. After around 15-20 minutes, we were already in the car and had just left the house, I received another call from Sis. Elai, Bro. Rey had passed on.

I won’t go into much of what followed, or the funeral and the burial. Although I have finally accepted his death, it still pinches my heart and deeply saddens me. I miss him so much. Out of all of us in our little group, Bro. Rey and I were the noisiest ones. It felt like we were kindred souls sometimes. I still reminisce of the good times, the laughter – there were lots of those.

Bro. Rey, I know you are in a peaceful, happy, and beautiful place now. No more pain or sickness in your body. I know that God has claimed you back because he wanted to stop your suffering and I believe he has a new mission or assignment for you now – a more important one. I know that (if it truly is possible) that you are keeping watch over us all – especially Sis. Suzzette. I have accepted your passing on, Bro. Rey. It still saddens me of course. I will always miss you. But I know that if I live in a way that I end up in heaven . . . then we will meet again someday.