I KNOW I am a Catholic

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Hello. I try to read and study the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Although I may be a bit slow in understanding some of the complicated articles because: (i) English is not my first language, (ii) I did not finish college, and (iii) although a Catholic – I am not as knowledgable about our religion as I’d like to be because I didn’t have any formal teaching and my parents were nominal Catholics.

But I hope that you guys won’t mind if I took the time to put in my 2 cents (did I use that idiom correctly? :p)

When I was a teenager I took interest in Jehovah’s Witness teachings. I was excited for a while. But eventually was disheartened and embraced Catholicism once again. I even became a junior legionary with the Legion of Mary for a while. Several years ago, through self-study – I took interest in the teachings and beliefs of the Seventh-Day Adventists. I was eager to learn and was starting to believe their teachings. After some time of self-studying, reasearching, and praying – I was once again pulled back to my Catholic faith.

Two year ago, I started having Mormon missionaries come to ur home for Bible Study – which turned out to be not merely Bible study (as they claimed) but a crash course into their religion as well. I was very taken in. After a few visits with them, I started attending their Sunday meetings. I even took my children along. My husband was out of town for nearly 3 months that time so he couldn’t openly object. He didn’t object because he thought it was just a silly phase, that I was just ‘bored’. But he nearly became mistaken. A week after he finally came home – I was scheduled for my BAPTISM! For three days we were discussing, arguing, and debating. I finally gave in. I prayed and prayed for him to take interest in our Catholic faith. To take interest in attending Mass. And finally it was happening… after years of praying. My prayers were answered. So I came back ‘home’ to our Catholic faith.

Forgive me for babbling on. I just wanted to share the trials of my faith. The ups and downs. I still have A LOT to learn. But I am not giving up.. I am not even tiring out. I am eager and excited to learn.

I believe that the Bible is the word of God. Written by men inspired by God. Guided by the Holy Spirit. I am not saying that the Catholic faith is perfect and spotless. I think that once you over-analyse, study and scrutinize every detail – faults will be found – in every religion, in in every faith. That’s what happened to me. I was so obsessed with finding the perfect one, the one with no errors, with no shortcomings, the one I could say was all-perfect. And I couldn’t find it.

What I’ve learned is that the Catholic faith is heavenly inspired. But we are all humans. As humans – we are all imperfect. Only God is perfect. So we can’t expect any religion to be perfect. Because every religion here on Earth is made up of imperfect humans.

What I know is that my faith is strong. Whenever I had nightmares when I was a conflicted teen where I had no dream but it seemed my mind was awake but I could not move. I opened my mouth to scream – but there was no sound. Sometimes I even felt like my bed was spinning quickly. I’d calm myself down and start praying Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory be. Then it would stop and I’d be completely awake and in control of my body. I know that whenever I am upset, hurting, or in despair – I just pray and meditate on the presence and love of Jesus – then all the hurt, anger, and despair disappears. Just like that.

This is what I know.

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